Pursuing My Passion

Believing in the Ultimate Power does not come easy when you get tempted by the devil on a daily basis. The devil does not rest until it destroys what is true. Why do I have an opening line like this? Because I have come to a point in my life where not believing vs. believing became an option. 

Although I am a nurse by profession and still choosing to practice what I do know, deep inside, there is a strong drive to change careers. As I have mentioned before, I wanted to be a photographer. I still do. There are certain instances in my life where in I questioned my sole existence on earth. This is not a quarter-life crisis people. I just know my current profession is not for me. But I just want to be given the opportunity, to see life on different light. To seek for beauty, where it is pure, disease free and just so colourful. 

Being behind the camera gives me such pleasure. To see things on a different light, seeing lines and shapes and shadows that lurk; and to capture that moment in time makes me realise how wonderful life is. Although heavy editing is involved in most of the photos circulating the world, and distorting how the society views things, you can always choose to change it. Your own photos, may it be tweaked or not, is your own reality. And that window of creativity just gives me a certain place in this world. In my current profession, proficiency, accuracy and the "no-error" skills apply. With these certain attributes needed in nursing, I feel I do not have room to grow. Do not get me wrong, I love helping people, but I just want to further explore my creativity through photography. 

When I was at the crossroads of choosing to climb the "nursing ladder" or pursue my God-given talent, I asked God. On several occasions, I just mainly cry and vent out my frustrations of not getting a clear direction of what He wants me to do. Everything in nursing is easy, there is a pathway to readily achieve what needs to be done. On the other hand, in the creative world, where talent needs to be as flamboyant as possible to be recognised, or mentors are scarce, no book will tell you how to achieve the career you want. But I prayed continuously, seeking God's guidance because I believe that only through Him I will have the answer. 

On the day He does answer, I was surprised with how He phrased it-- The Parable of the Talents (hearing Him speak in telepathy). The parable was told by Jesus in the bible. I stopped and thanked Him for his answer. I knew how difficult the creative road will take me. But there is no doubt, that that was His answer. And mind you, I haven't heard that tale in a long while. If you are not familiar then let me tell you the story. 

There was a master and he had 3 servants. Before he went on a long journey, he gave the first servant 5000 talents, the second servant 2000 talents and the last servant 1000 talents. After several years the master came back, the servant who had 5000 talents told his master he was able to double what he gave, 10000 talents. The master was so happy that he gave him more talents. The second servant came to the master and presented his talents, which he was also able to double in number, from 2000 to 4000 talents. And so the master was again happy; he gave the servant more talents. Finally, the last servant sheepishly approached the master and told the master he was afraid of losing the 1000 talents he has given him that he buried it on the ground. The master became furious, he told the servant he could have put the talent in a bank so that there would be some kind of interest. He found the servant so lazy that he took away everything from him. 

So if this is His answer, mind you I have asked on several occasions, and He constantly gives me this answer. My only problem now is how to actually execute his command. I have now undergone a few short courses at TAFE Sydney (Introduction to photography and Introduction to Studio Lighting) but have come to a standstill. I am currently doing a diploma course (not in photography, unfortunately as the fees are quite expensive at the moment) that hopefully would help me out in finding contacts in the creative industry. 

Whatever happens to me now, I know He guides me. Whoever can help me out in my endeavour, please do help me. I am willing to learn and I will work my but off if you will give me a chance. If I was able to pull off my nursing degree (twice, two Bachelor's degree), then I can surely pull off something that I am really passionate about. Whoever you are, wherever you are, just give me a chance, you won't regret it. 

Walking shot in Black and White

(I saw how heavily textured the alleyway was with the addition of the grills while I was walking around Blacktown. I asked my friend if she would want to do a simple photoshoot with me. Since the light was not too harsh and on that day the wind cooperated with my shoot, I was able to produce this certain photo. This is my play on textures.)